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Conversations – For the Sake Of It


जो काम करना है पूरी शिद्दत से करो, वरना मत करो। 

This is something I strongly believe in. But, gradually I also became part of this sick culture – “Do it, for the sake of it.” “Do it, coz everyone is doing it.” “Adapt it, coz it sounds cultured.”

I always heard my acquaintances and family members saying “अभी तुम्हें ही याद किया था!” “बड़े दिनों से तुमसे मिलने की इच्छा हो रही थी” “अभी तुम्हारी ही बातें चल रहीं थीं।” And, every time I heard that, I was like why are you lying? My child version start revisiting memories of last 2-7 days to remember आखिर इस इंसान का ज़िक्र कब हुआ। 

After listening to this a few times when I couldn’t recollect, I started questioning my family members, “When did that happen?” Sometimes they replied to me – don’t ask questions, sometimes they told: “after you slept, we were talking”. I was kinda ok, some other times they said, it makes the other person feel good, feel valued. Now, when I grew up, I understood- they say it, for the sake of it. 

Now, I know this was just a not-tech type of PERSONALIZATION & making others feel good. However, the feeling behind it can vary from person to person. Depending on the close and far relations you have with them. The person on the other side may feel special or maybe they also replicate the same pattern, just like how we are taught. 

For a long time, I had this habit of making the phone and speaking instantly on it, the purpose of call. I was scolded a lot many times for it. “न दुआ सलाम, न कैसे हो, न वक़्त है की नहीं पूछना — तुम सीधे शुरू क्यों हो जाती हो?” If you are from the 90s or before that, you already know that there was no Jio earlier & every minute used to cost roughly 1rs -2rs. If you keep extending conversations, then you can imagine a tentative budget for each call will be 4-5 rs or more. Isn’t it pointless to waste that much money, especially when you have a balance of 10 or 50 rs? 

Exactly, that was my point and somehow I always knew that no one would speak the right answer to “How are you?” in the first 10 minutes of a conversation. So, why ask anything for the sake of it? 

Well, except for the sophistication and good manners, that question of “How are you? How you are doing? How things are going at your end?” doesn’t make real sense to me at all, not even by now. 

Whether in meetings, talking to acquaintances or so-called friends, half of the time we are making conversations, trying to build things for the sake of it. Do we really want to know? I don’t believe it. If another person starts talking about it, we normally say they wasted a lot of time. When someone is sharing their part of the frustration, we say they are adding negative thoughts & negative vibes. When someone shares any information, you are thinking to yourself, why are they sharing even? And, when someone looking for a shoulder to lean on, you definitely don’t want to be someone’s tear-soaking pillow. So, are we really talking to each other to know or help or be there??? Or, just doing things for the sake of it, like most of the time by now!!!

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